All you wanted
by korilove
Summary: "Before she can even say anything he's reaching for her. One hand comes to her back to pull her closer, the other behind her head as he embraces her. She slowly brings her arms in, but his closeness and the shock cause her to release her grip on the phone and drop it on the floor." My take on what could have happened after the stydia hug in 4x06. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! This is my take on what could have happened after the last ep (4x06) with the stydia hug. Kinda au after that. I will be continuing the story, I'm liking how it's turning out. **

**As always, happy reading and please review!**

"Lydia, Meredith's gone."

She hears the words and lets the information sink in. _I drove another banshee to kill herself_ she thinks. Her mind racing, her face completely blank of every emotion but shock. She slowly pulls the phone away from her ear, not even realizing Parrish is still on the other end.

She slowly turns towards Stiles. While she's unable to string together coherent thoughts, her instincts push her to seek comfort in him.

Before she can even say anything he's reaching for her. One hand comes to her back to pull her closer, the other behind her head as he embraces her. She slowly brings her arms in, but his closeness and the shock cause her to release her grip on the phone and drop it on the floor.

She just stays there in his arms, unable to move. Her head rests against his shoulder, she can smell a mixture of sweat and his distinctive smell, something she's never been able to place her finger on. It reminds her of home somehow, like it's safe.

He rubs the back of her head, his fingers tangled it her strawberry blonde hair. He doesn't say anything, words won't help. He leans his head against hers, seeming to know that the contact is helping.

She starts to labour her breathing as she feels the shock wearing off, turning into despair and guilt. Tears threaten to spill over her eyelashes and she's thankful Stiles isn't able to see.

"I did this. I made her do this." She says, struggling to keep her voice steady.

Stiles pulls away from the embrace to look at her, taking her face in his hands. "Lydia, this isn't your fault." He can see the first tear escape from her and travel down her left cheek. He gently wipes it away.

"But if it weren't for me she wouldn't be dead." She protests. "I didn't shoot her but I loaded the gun."

He just shakes his head. "There was nothing you did or could've done differently to change this." He says reassuringly. "She knew she was on the list, it was just a matter of time."

She doesn't believe him, but she doesn't want to argue. "I know." she breathes out. She nods gingerly before bending down to pick up her phone. She sees Parrish has already disconnected the call, so she locks the screen and places it down on the bed.

She sits down beside her phone, the tears flowing freely now since one escaped. Stiles gently plops on the bed beside her, hating that she's crying but wanting to make sure she's alright.

She turns to look at him, and sees the concern on his face. She leans her head back on his shoulder and just lets the tears fall. While she soaks his shirt, he brings his arms around her again, his fingers drawing small circles on her back.

He slowly lays them flat on the bed side by side, her still crying and his arms still around her. They lay like that until she's worn herself out so much that she falls asleep.

Stiles gently gets up from the bed, turning out the light so he can sleep. He knows she's exhausted, so there's no point in moving her now, especially since she'd probably just start crying again if he woke her up.

He crawls back to his bed and lays down beside her, so that they are face to face. He can see mascara tracks down her cheeks, since the moon is just bright enough. Her hair is falling out of the updo it was in earlier, the red strands framing her face. He sighs and watches her sleep until his eyelids are heavy and he gives into them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Lydia wakes up it's still dark. She opens her eyes, disoriented. Groggily she makes out Stiles' face, still directed at her. For a second she forgets the events from the day before and smiles to herself - but then it comes back to her and the weight is too much again. She sits up, reaching for her phone at the bottom of the bed.

She unlocks the phone so she can see the time; 3:18am. She sighs, wondering how she is going to get home since her ride is passed out.

She stands from the bed and walks towards Stiles' window. She can see the street from here; the only vehicle parked out front is the jeep. She wonders what the sheriff would say if he had found them as they were a few minutes ago.

She doesn't see any option other than to either go back to sleep or wake him up, but she doesn't want to do either. She sheds her white cover up from her body, and lays back down beside him, gazing at the lines of his face in the barely there moonlight.

He sighs in his sleep, and moves to bring his arm around her. She lets him, her decision made up for her.

She closes her eyes to try to fall back asleep, but she hears something.

"Lydia."

Her eyes snap open and there's no one but Stiles. She hears it again, barely a whisper coming from his lips.

"Lydia."

She gasps and realizes he is talking in his sleep, and most likely dreaming about her. She blushes even though no one can see, feeling like she's an intruder.

Stiles sighs and pulls her closer, and she snuggles into him, despite whatever he might be dreaming about. She lets her eyes close before she hears what he says next, barely audible.

"I love you."

Her heart stops, her mind reels. _He is with Malia now, how can he be having a dream like that? But I kinda knew deep down he felt that way. _she thinks, the last thought making her smile smugly. _Oh god, do I feel that way?... Oh shit._

Unable to get away from Stiles (his cuddling her is like a death grip in his sleep), Lydia tries to shut out the thoughts. Surprisingly it eventually works, since she is still exhausted.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When she wakes up again, Stiles is already awake and fully changed out of his clothes from the night before. He's still wearing jeans, but now he's wearing a red t shirt, and a black zip up hoodie. He's sitting on the bed, looking at her tentatively, as if unsure that if she wakes up the tears will immediately start. She looks at him and rolls her eyes.

She sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed, and notices from the window that the sheriff is home.

She turns back to Stiles, a worried look on her face. "Does he know..?" She asks.

"Don't worry, I explained what happened. My dad was surprisingly cool about it." He reassures her.

"Okay. Good." She says stoically, not sure where to go from there.

"Let me drive you home now so you can get ready, I can't imagine you'd show up at school wearing that again." He laughs, running his hand up through his hair and standing from the bed.

He grabs her hand to lead her from his room, and the contact jolts her. He's done this before, it's not something new. But it feels different now.

"You okay?" He says, turning back to look at her. He obviously felt her jump slightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just go."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The drive to her house is short. Lydia looks out the window as she thinks about what she heard him say._ I knew he liked be before, but now? Maybe I should just ask him about it. Stop it Lydia, that's a terrible idea. Oh well, here goes.._

"Hey, did you know you talk in your sleep?" She asks, feeling that this is probably the best way to start.

"Um, yeah. I've done it since I was little, Scott used to have full conversations with me, usually not making any sense." He replies, confusion on his face. Then it dawns on him. "Why? What did I say?"

She looks over at him, and for a second she considers telling him the whole thing. But she decides against it, and says "Oh you were just mumbling about Malia. Nothing serious."

"Oh." He pauses. "I guess that makes sense."

She cocks an eyebrow and says "You guess? She is your girlfriend."

Stiles pulls the jeep into her driveway and puts it in park. He looks over at her and she feels this moment, like he knows what he said last night and he knows that she knows it too.

_He leans over and says, "Yeah, but she isn't who I'm in love with". She gasps and he leans in closer, and presses his lips gently to hers. She goes still, like she's frozen. He moves his hands up to her face and cradles her cheek, drawing out the kiss. She finds herself and forces her lips to kiss back, responding enthusiastically. She licks the seam of his mouth and he lets her in, sighing as he does._

"Lyds, are you sure your okay?" He asks, snapping her out of the fantasy and back to reality. She realizes she's been staring, and she flushes slightly, unable to control it.

She finds her bearings and replies "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll see you at school."

She practically jumps out the side of his jeep and jogs to her front door, leaving a bewildered Stiles wondering _What the fuck was that?_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys, here is chapter 2. It's a little shorter, but the next one will be coming very soon. I cannot stop writing, I'm so immersed in this! **

**Happy reading!**

"So I drove her home this morning, and when we get there she like, lingers in my car." Stiles was recounting the Lydia situation to Scott, while they walked to class. His best friend was following along tentatively, the always great listener.

"Lingers?" Scott questions him, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes dude, lingers. You know, she like kinda hangs out longer than what's considered normal? She was staring at me like I had three heads." Stiles retorts, like Scott doesn't know what the word means.

"And then I obviously ask her if she's all there or whatever and she basically blows the door of my jeep off trying to get away from me." Stiles finishes the story, obviously awaiting Scott's feedback.

"Well maybe she just realized that she was going to be late, you know how girls always take forever to get ready. " Scott offers.

"Maybe." He pauses. "I don't think that's it though."

"Well if it's going to bother you that much why not just ask her? We've got Econ later and she always sits behind you." Scott says, as they turn the corner of the hallway where they find Lydia walking into them. She has her head down, books clutched in her arms. Using his keen senses Scott avoids crashing into her, but Stiles isn't so lucky. He collides with her, lanky arms, red hair and books flying.

Neither of them fall, but Stiles does end up leaning up against a locker to the left of him, and Lydia's books end up on the ground. Lydia gasps once she gathers her books and herself. "Stiles are you okay?"

Stiles looks at her and nods. "Yeah I'm fine. Sorry."

She just smiles at him gingerly and turns back down the hallway.

"See?" Stiles motions to Scott once Lydia is out of earshot. "Wouldn't she have normally told me that I need to watch where I'm going or rolled her eyes at me or something?!"

Scott just looks at Stiles with his eyebrows raised and shakes his head. Then he continues down the hallway without him.

"Dude, come on." Stiles calls after him, jogging to catch up.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She's been mulling last night and this morning over in her head all day. It's like she can't focus, barely taking any notes in class and finding she doesn't even remember what class she's in. His sleep talking keeps replaying in her head, and part of her wishes the words were true, or that he was awake when he had said them.

Not that she'd ever admit it.

When 5th period rolls around, she knows she'll have to face him again, but at least he won't be able to look at her all period, since she always sits directly behind him. She could feel his eyes on her every time they passed each other in the hallway between classes, and even more so when they collided earlier.

She makes her way to Coach's classroom, dragging her feet even though she knows she just has to suck it up and deal with it. When she reaches the door she pauses for a second. _Okay Lydia, just go in there like you didn't even hear anything last night. It's just another day, and you're going to sit behind your friend during a class. No big deal._ She sighs and enters the room.

Stiles isn't in there yet, but she takes the seat behind where he'll sit. She brings her books out of her messenger bag and flips the notebook open. Trying to distract herself, she taps the pen she's holding on the desk.

She feels Scott take the desk beside her and she looks up, Stiles is sitting down in front of her, like always. He turns around once he's seated and smiles at her. She gives a weak smile in return.

"Hey, how's your day goin'?" He asks.

"It's alright, I just can't seem to focus on anything today." She replies, not sure how else to respond. She can't seem to lie.

He nods, and touches her hand, stopping the pen. "You'll get past this, it'll be okay".

She remembers Meredith and realizes that's why he thinks she's distracted. _Of course he doesn't think it's anything else, come on Lydia. _

Coach walks into the room and closes the door. Stiles removes his hand and turns back around in his chair.

She tries to focus on Coach's lecture with no luck. A few minutes tick by and she feels her phone vibrate in her dress pocket.

She pulls it out and checks the message.

**From: Stiles Stilinski 2:06pm  
Hey, wat was with u this morning?**

She furrows her brow as she reads it, lowers her phone into the hollow of the desk and types back.

**To: Stiles Stilinski  
What do you mean? **

She hears his phone vibrate, and a few seconds later she receives another message.

**From: Stiles Stilinski 2:07pm  
u no, when u basiclly jumped out of the jeep. do i smell or wat? :P**

**To: Stiles Stilinski  
I did not jump. I just knew I was going to be late. And yes, you do smell, just like most people who have all 5 senses ;)**

She chuckles before she sends the message.

**From: Stiles Stilinski 2:08pm  
wrong. try again. i no somethings up and its not cuz of our friend.**

Before she can even contemplate on what to write back, her attention is brought to the front of the class.

"Miss Martin, is there something you would like to share with us?" Coach looks at her questioningly.

She freezes and stashes her phone back into her pocket. "No, nothing." She replies hurriedly.

"Alright. I won't warn you again about having your cell phone out." Coach turns back to his lecture and she releases the breath she was holding.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

At the end of the day she's walking to her car, thankful that the day is finally over. When she reaches it she's greeted by Stiles, leaning against it.

_Oh great._

"Hi" She says gingerly, not sure where this conversation is going to go.

"You wanna explain to me what's up now or are you going to keep pretending like everything's fine?" He says, looking at her expectantly.

She sighs, her hands curled in the flowery pattern of her dress. "Okay, everything's not fine." She admits. "But I'm not explaining it to you here."

"Alright, where and when then?" He demands.

"Do you have plans tonight?" She looks up at him. He returns her gaze and leans closer to her, so she can almost feel his breath. She remembers what it felt like from when he was cuddling her last night.

"Malia and me are going to study at her place for a bit but I can run by your house later?" He replies.

When she hears Malia's name, her heart sinks. _Come on Lydia, you know he has a girlfriend and you know that he probably doesn't even mean what he said last night. Get a grip. _

She nods and says "'Kay, That works."

Stiles straightens up and moves away from her, so she can open the driver's door. His hand brushes her forearm as he moves past her and she shivers.

"I'll see you later then." He grins at her and gives a small wave, turning towards the jeep in the distance where Malia is waiting.

Lydia gets in her car and sighs. _This is bad, really really bad._ She turns the ignition and the car roars to life. She pulls from the school parking lot, and turns on the radio. She turns it up and starts singing along. Maybe that will take her mind off things.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter makes me squee a bit, it gets a bit fluffy. I'm having so much fun writing this, so please let me know what you think/what you think I could change in my writing.**

**Happy reading!**

Lydia's looking at her chemistry notes, or lack there of, later on that night. She's trying to study, but it's just not working.

She sighs and closes the book, and slides it away from her on the bed. Sitting up, she rubs her hands over her face. She releases a sigh and leans over on her side. Then, she takes her phone from her pocket.

She debates texting Stiles for a bit in her mind, wondering if his plans changed or something came up. She opens the message app on her phone and starts typing.

**To: Stiles Stilinski  
Are you still coming over or did something come up?**

_What am I going to tell him when/if he does come here? _She wonders. _I'm going to make things super awkward._

She's pulled away from her thoughts when she gets a text back.

**From: Stiles Stilinski 8:49pm  
im already here silly.**

She scrambles up from the bed and rushes over to her window. She spots the jeep on the side of the street. Stiles opens up the door and steps out. He places his hands in his pockets and starts to walk up the driveway to her front door.

She suddenly gets nervous, her palms sweating and she starts to tremble. She half runs her way down the stairs to the door to let him in.

She wrenches it open before he can even knock. He looks up and grins at her. She swings the door open wider and gestures for him to come in. He obliges.

She leads him up to her bedroom wordlessly, as she's not sure where to begin. He reaches for her hand and follows her closely, even though he knows full well where her bedroom is. Once inside, she lingers at the foot of her bed, not sure what to do.

"So.." He starts. "What's up?"

"Oh you know, trying to study," She motions to the books sprawled out on the bed. "or faking it." She rambles, not sure where its coming from. She's always articulate and sure of herself.

She takes a seat on the end of her bed, smoothing out her dress as she does. Stiles sits beside her, facing towards her.

"You know what I meant. What's got you acting so weird?" He brings his eyes up to meet hers, and she swallows thickly.

"I know." She breathes. After a pause, she gathers up the strength to tell him. "You know how we were talking this morning about your sleep talking?" She stares at him, searching his eyes for any sort of clues to how he really feels.

"Yeah... I'm guessing I wasn't talking about Malia then?" He says, a flash of pain comes across his face that she's sure she imagined. His gaze turns into curious inspection.

"No...You said my name."

He jumps back a bit, taken by surprise. "Oh." He looks away from her for a second. _Oh god, you shouldn't have said anything! _Her brain screams at her.

He turns back to her before her brain can shout"more angry thoughts. "Did I say anything else?" he wonders out loud, looking for answers.

She slowly nods at him, and her cheeks flush. "Yeah, you said my name twice, and then.." She swallows again, like her body is trying to keep the words inside instead of letting them spill out. He looks into her eyes, and she finds courage. She starts again, pushing herself. "Then you said I love you."

He doesn't say anything at first, just a blank look on his face while their eyes lock. She starts to ramble again, the nervousness resurfacing.

"And I know you are with Malia and you probably weren't even talking about me when you said it, but **god **it's been stuck in my mind all day and that's why I've been so weird. I know we're friends and we should not even go th-"

Her words are cut off when he leans in and kisses her.

It takes her completely by surprise, like her brain shuts off. She briefly remembers their first kiss, and how everything about this one seems different. He moves his right hand up to her cheek and cradles it, his thumb caressing it. The soft touch makes her weak and snaps her out of her shock. He slowly pulls away and looks at her, as if he's sure he's misread her and that kissing her was a mistake. She forces herself to grab his face with her hands and pull him back to press her lips back to his, and he responds enthusiastically. He flicks his tongue at the entrance of her lips and she obliges. He tastes like licorice and all she can smell is that distinct safe smell she always associates with him.

He sighs happily when they break apart. He leans his forehead against hers, while they try to catch their breath.

She looks up at him and he's staring back, a slight smile on his lips.

"What was that?" She whispers.

"I don't know." He chuckles as he says it. "I just know I wanted you to shut up."

She makes a face and pulls her head away. Then she backhands him in the chest playfully. "Hey!" He says, still laughing.

He wraps his arm around her and slides closer to her. She looks back up at him and he presses another kiss to her cheek, chin and then lips.

She feels like she's floating, weightless and carefree as he kisses her. His hands are roaming her back and hers are in his hair. Their kisses become more desperate, like the other is their oxygen and the fire burns hotter with each press of their lips and slide of tongues.

Somewhere in chaos of their kisses her brain wakes up, a war starting in her thoughts. _What are you doing? HE'S WITH SOMEONE. Who cares about that? He kisses like this! SERIOUSLY THIS IS A BAD IDEA! _

She finally pulls away, panting hard. He looks like she's punched him in the gut.

"We can't do this." She says, even though part of her doesn't want to. "What about Malia?"

"What about her?" He whispers.

She looks at him incredulously. "She's your girlfriend!"

"Not anymore." He says sadly.

She does a double take. "Since when?" She demands.

"Tonight. She saw us earlier when I was talking to you in the parking lot. Halfway through studying she brings it up, accusing me of things. I told her that we are just friends, but all the same she wasn't too impressed. We fought." He sighs, running his hands through his hair. "I told her I wouldn't just abandon you as a friend and she said we were more than that. Obviously she was right, but I never thought I'd actually get my chance with you." He looks back up at her, his gaze meeting hers.

"Oh." She manages. "Surprise?" she laughs nervously.

"It's okay. It wasn't going anywhere with Malia anyway." He replies. He scoots closer to her and leans over to rest his head on hers. She reaches for his hand, and their fingers lace together.

They stay like that for a while, just listening to the other breathing. Lydia eventually wills her voice to work. "Stiles?" she whispers.

"Yeah Lyds?" He responds.

"Did you mean it?" She doesn't open her eyes, she doesn't wanna see his reaction, only wants to hear the truth.

"Of course. I'm pretty sure I've loved you since third grade when you pushed me off my swing on the playground." He says. She smiles and opens her eyes, turning to face him.

"I never did that." She protests.

"You did! Jessica Hammond was on the swing next to mine and you wanted to be beside her because she was your friend, so you pushed me!" He retorts, laughing.

She blushes and laughs with him. "Oh." She replies softly. He smiles back at her and kisses her again, softly this time.

She sighs and kisses him back, finally able to really enjoy it.

He pulls away from her lips, his hand still entwined with hers. "We should probably keep this quiet for a little bit though, I don't want to make things harder on Malia." He says, motioning with his other hand between them.

"I think I can handle that." She replies, leaning her head onto his chest.

He kisses the top of her head, and she feels herself smile against his shirt. "I should probably go though, my dad is home tonight."

"Yeah, my mom will be home soon too." She replies. She sits up, and he reluctantly lets go of her hand and stands from the bed. He picks up his backpack from the floor and turns back to her.

She gets up from the bed and wraps her arms around him. He does the same, squeezing her lightly and pressing a kiss in her hair. _Now this feels right. _She thinks.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Lyds." He says as they release each other. She responds by kissing him again. "See you." She smiles.

Once he leaves she curls up on her bed, and cuddles her pillow. She doesn't think she stops smiling until sleep takes her.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! Happy reading!**

Lydia has extra pep in her step the next morning, feeling more rested than ever. It seems like everything is good, and she's high off the feeling.

She takes one last look in the mirror before heading off to school. She's all done up, makeup flawless and her hair half up, an intricate braid around the center of her skull, the rest of her red locks cascading down her back. She smiles and saunters out the door, and grabing her keys.

When she gets in her car, she feels her phone vibrate in her cardigan pocket. She pulls it out and smiles when she sees Stiles' name.

**From: Stiles Stilinski 7:36am  
mornin gorgeous :)**

**To: Stiles Stilinski  
Good Morning :)**

She turns the key in the ignition and puts her phone away. Some pop style song comes on the radio and she turns it up louder. She doesn't know the song, but it has a steady beat and it seems happy.

_Yes, it is a good morning Stiles. _She thinks.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She's looking in her locker for her math textbook later on at school when Kira appears beside her.

"So, did you hear that Stiles and Malia are done?" She inquires.

"No, actually I had no idea." Lydia lies, thinking it will be better to put on a face like she and Stiles totally didn't end up revealing feelings and such a mere half hour after he and Malia were broken up.

"Yeah, apparently they had a fight about you." Kira says, eyes gauging to see her reaction.

Lydia feigns surprise. "Me?" She asks. "Why would they fight about me?"

Kira looks slightly crestfallen, not getting any information other than what she already knew. "No idea, I just heard Scott talking about it in passing earlier. Malia hasn't said anything about it to me all day, I didn't even know." She replies.

"Oh, well I hope she's okay." She says softly, not sure what else to say.

She looks across the hallway and spots Stiles, who is leaning against the locker next to Scott's, obviously deep in some conversation. His eyes shift to her direction, and he spots her looking at him. He gives her a quick wink and smiles, before going back to his conversation.

Scott was too engrossed in his locker to see the exchange, but Kira wasn't.

"Um, what was that?" She questions Lydia.

"What?" She retorts, shutting her locker and turning back towards Kira.

"You know what, I saw that." She says, a smirk on her lips.

"You saw nothing." She says. She doesn't even believe her own voice.

"Yeah right." Kira says, smiling before she heads over to Scott's locker herself.

Lydia pulls out her phone and sends a quick text.

**To: Stiles Stilinski  
You can't just wink at me in public! I swear I am going to give this all away, Kira's already on to us.**

She starts walking down the hallway to her next class when she feels the reply come in.

**From: Stiles Stilinski 9:55am  
ill make something up. jus go wit it if she says anything**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rumours are flying everywhere by the end of the day. Some people say that Lydia broke them up on purpose, others say there was cheating involved. She even heard that apparently Malia had a disease and that's why Stiles ended it. It makes her sick to think that people have nothing else to do but gossip about other people's lives.

She's almost to her car when she spots a familiar figure standing by her car. And not the one she wants to see today.

She swallows and manages to speak. "Hi Malia."

"You'd better stay away from Stiles." She says, not bothering to sweeten up her voice.

"Excuse me?" Lydia says, before she can stop herself. _This is not the time or place for a cat fight, Lydia, verbal or otherwise._

"You heard me." Malia says, stepping closer to her. "I know how close you are - too close if we're being honest - and I don't like it." She finishes, her arms crossed on her chest.

Lydia cocks and eyebrow at her. "I thought you were broken up?" She wonders.

"Broken up?" Malia says incredulously. "We had a fight. It's fine."

_Uh oh. _

"Well Stiles and I are friends, so I don't think that will be changing anytime soon." Lydia states, not wanting to back down.

"Well, I would appreciate it if you kept your hands to yourself then." Malia says, walking away.

_What the fuck was that?_ Her brain goes into overload. _This isn't good._

She gets into her car and pulls her phone out of her pocket. Instead of texting this time, she opts for a phone call.

"Hey." She hears his voice through the speaker, an obvious smile on his lips.

"We have a problem." She responds, not even bothering to say hi.

"O-kay, like what?" He says. "I already got Kira off our backs, she just thinks that we have this like inside joke thing."

"Apparently you still have a girlfriend." Lydia retorts, trying not to be mad at the situation.

"Hun?" He sounds completely confused.

**"**Malia thinks you are still together. She just told me so." She says. "She was waiting for me when I got out to my car".

"Fuck." Stiles says. She can hear him punch something in his jeep on the other end. She can just picture him waving his hand and making a face.

"Yeah."

"I'll take care of it." He says. "I'll talk to you later." He says before hanging up.

She looks at her phone, the red flashing background of her phone from the ended call like a flashing neon sign spelling out: **YOU'RE FUCKED.**

She sighs before she places the phone on the passenger seat and starts her car.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

She doesn't hear from him until 7pm that night. Her brain has been in overdrive since their phone conversation and the way he left it.

He shows up at her house, knocking on the door. She opens up and tries to let him in, but he lingers on the porch and gestures for her to come outside.

_That isn't a good sign. _Her brain whispers to her.

She gingerly steps out of her house and closes the door. She folds her arms in front of her chest, a bad feeling hitting her out of nowhere. She looks at him expectantly.

"So," He begins. He swallows thickly before he continues. "We can't do this."

_Of course not._

She just looks back at him sadly,waiting for more of an answer. He can't meet her gaze, his eyes shifting towards the door behind her.

"Look, Lyds," He tries again. "I can't abandon her. She needs me, she's got all this catching up to do with life and love and people and no one else will do it but me."

"But you can abandon me." She says, her voice barely a whisper.

"Lydia,"

"No." She moves her hands from her chest to her hips, her eyes glazing over with potential tears. "You know what, if you don't have the balls to end things with her, then you don't deserve this." She says, motioning between them.

"Lyds," He steps closer to her, as if he really just wants to wrap his arms around her and comfort her.

"Fuck you Stiles." She spits at him, pushing at him in his chest with her hands. "I don't even know why I bothered."

He looks at her like he's genuinely hurt. He doesn't move, just looks at her sadly. All she really wants to do is lean her head on his shoulder and cry, but she won't let herself. Instead, she turns on her heel, walks through her front door and slams it in his face.

What he doesn't see or hear is this: when the door shuts, she slowly slides down it to the floor. Her legs stretch out on the floor and the tears that threatened to spill over on the porch fall fast and violently. She sobs quietly against the door, her head falling into her hands as she cries.

**A/N: Please please please don't hate me. I wanted there to be a little bit of angst in here, as much as I love the fluff I thrive off the angst. Don't worry though, it's not over yet ;)**

**If you follow me on tumblr you will know this, but I do actually like Malia. I tried to write her bluntly like she is in the show - she doesn't have that filter that we have because she was in the wild for 8 years. She's still learning how all this stuff works, and I wanted to convey that.**

**Please let me know what you think so far and please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi guys! Here's the next chapter. The song featured in the chapter is Hanging by a Thread by Billy Talent. **

**Happy reading and let me know what you think!**

The radio was mocking Stiles on the drive home from Lydia's. Some song going on about people falling apart and hanging by threads.

_**Hanging by a thread  
Hanging by a thread  
When you break my heart, I fall apart 'til you stitch me up again**_

_**Hanging by a thread  
Hanging by a thread  
C'mon patch me up, or cut me loose, cause these rags are turning red  
C'mon patch me up, or cut me loose, cause I'm hanging by a thread**_

That's exactly how he feels.

He shuts off the radio, slamming his hand on the power button with a little more force than necessary. Like it's mocking him too, the button double presses and the radio flickers off and then back on.

"Fuck." He swears out loud, slamming his fist against the console of the jeep. He pulls over to the side of the road and starts beating on the steering wheel, in time with each curse. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!"

The frustration bubbling over, he gets out and slams the door of the jeep. Usually he'd take extra care of his prized possession, but it's the last thing on his mind at the moment.

He starts walking away from the jeep, still fuming. He paces back and forth, throwing his hands in the air and looks up at the sky.

"Do you think this is funny?" He yells out to no one in particular. "Is this some kind of cosmic punishment for thinking about her when I was with Malia? Hell, for thinking about her all the fucking time?" He bellows.

"I bet you think it's just fucking hilarious that as soon as I find another girl she fucking wants me. Like what the fuck is wrong with you?" He demands from the sky.

"Well fuck you, universe." He screams. All he hears back in response is crickets and the wind blowing in the trees. He stops pacing and drops down, sitting on the side of the road. His face falls in his hands.

He rubs his hands over his face and sighs. _You really fucked up man. Yeah I know. No, like royally fucked up. Dude shut the fuck up, I KNOW. _

He's snapped out of his conversation with his mind by Scott, who obviously heard his yelling match with the sky. He clears his throat, gives his best friend the eyebrow and sits beside him.

"So, what happened?" He asks.

Stiles starts at the beginning, his conversation with Lydia that led to something more after he and Malia fought, and all the events after that.

When he finishes, Scott looks at him sadly. "So let me get this straight. You ended things with Lydia before they even started. The girl you've been drooling over since 3rd grade. You still like Malia, just not like Lydia and can't abandon her."

"Okay, when you put it like that it sounds stupid." Stiles says defensively. Scott gives him a look.

"Okay, maybe I am stupid. Am I stupid?" He rambles. "Just tell me."

Scott just shakes his head. "You're just kinda in a hard place to be. Nothing you do is stupid, there's no right or wrong choice, or way to deal with it. You just gotta do what feels right man." Scott places a hand on Stiles' shoulder, trying to give some sort of comfort.

Stiles sighs and nods, slowly standing up and makes his way back to the jeep. Scott gets in the passenger seat while Stiles wordlessly starts the engine and drives.

_How am I gonna fix this?_ The thought bounces around in his brain for the rest of the night.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She doesn't talk to him, hell she doesn't even look at him, for three days. Every time he sees her in the hallway she looks stoically past him, as if she can't even see him . She doesn't even look up from her notebook in Econ. He's even more surprised on Friday when she doesn't sit in her usual seat behind him, but a few seats ahead in a different row, completely avoiding his gaze.

He spends the entire class looking at her, not even bothering to pay attention to coach. _God I am such a fucking idiot._ He thinks. He can't get her out of his head, and he makes up his mind right then and there about what he wants.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She has plenty of messages from him on her phone, always trying to get her to talk to him. She's read each one but can't bring herself to respond. She feels like he stole her heart and jumped on it, and it's sitting on the pavement in a million pieces.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That Saturday a big storm rolls in. Rain and thunder and high winds are all over the news, warning people to stay safe. She stays inside and goes through her closet, something she'd been meaning to do for a while. With her mom out of town for a conference, there wasn't much else to do.

Around 7 that evening the rain was coming down pretty hard, she could hear the thunder pounding outside her house. Having given up on her closet at that point, she sat in her bedroom watching the rain out her window.

From across the room she hears her phone vibrate.

_What now Stiles?_ she immediately thinks.

She reluctantly gets up from the bed and picks up her phone from the desk.

**From: Stiles Stilinski 7:12pm  
Lydia im sorry. will you plz talk 2 me?**

She sighs and puts her phone back on the bed, choosing to keep ignoring his messages. Then she receives 2 more.

**From Stiles Stilinski 7:13pm  
u cant keep ignoring me Lyds. **

**From Stiles Stilinski 7:14pm  
im serious. u cant ignore me cuz im here.**

"What the fuck?!" She breathes out loud. She scrambles over to her window and sure enough, his jeep is parked on the street, without him inside.

She hears her phone again and she receives yet another text.

**From Stiles Stilinski 7:15pm  
I no u r here n I no ur mom is gone to a conference so u have no excuses. Get ur ass out here.**

_Stiles you are literally insane, what are you thinking?!_ she thinks while making her way down the stairs. She sighs heavily before opening the front door.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys, here's chapter 6. If you are uncomfortable reading sexual things/smut, please skip this chapter.**

**Happy Reading!**

He's standing there on her porch, drenched from head to toe. His red hoodie is stuck to him, and so are his jeans. His face is red, like he'd been running. He looks like he's been standing there a while.

"What are you doing here?" She questions, her voice incredulous. "Are you crazy?"

"Maybe." He responds. "Lyds I'm sorry-"

"Save it." She cuts him off. "I don't want to hear your apology Stiles."

She expects him to back off and leave, but he does the opposite. "Too bad, you're gonna have to hear it because I'm not leaving until you do." He says.

She sighs and crosses her arms in front of her chest and waits, staring at him. He sighs before continuing.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you Lyds, but I was torn between two people and it wasn't fair. Not to me, you or Malia. I should have ensured things were over with her before kissing you, or telling you about my feelings. You deserved better than that. You still do."

She mentally agrees with everything he's saying, but she's still angry. "And what do you want me to do now?" She demands. "Am I supposed to forgive you?" She steps out from the house and onto the porch, not even caring about the rain. "Am I supposed to forget what you told me and you and everything?!"

"No." He says. He steps closer to her. "You're supposed to kiss me."

Before she can get another word out to protest, he's already pressing his lips to hers, hungrily and desperately. She kisses him back with the same fervor, her body acting of its own accord.

His tongue demands entrance past her lips and she opens up to him. Their tongues duel while his hands pull her impossibly closer, her hands already finding their usual spot in his hair. The rain is cold but she barely feel it, this slow burning heat building up inside her with every passing second.

He slowly inches her closer to the open front door, and she doesn't even realize what's happening until she feels the warmth of the house on her skin. He lifts her up by her thighs and her legs automatically wrap around him. He kicks the door closed with his right leg, all without breaking their kiss.

He leans her back up against the wall just before the stairs after kicking his shoes off. His lips break away from hers to her neck, where he suckled at her sensitive skin. She's panting in his ear and he finds her sweet spot, just beneath her collar-bone. She involuntarily grinds her center against him, causing him to groan.

"Fuck Lyds." He whispers against her. "Shut up." She commands.

She feels him smile on her skin, and he brings his face back up to hers. With him straightened out, she takes the opportunity to pull his hoodie and the shirt underneath it off.

She gasps when she sees him, and he smirks. "Your turn." He says before pulling her tank over her head.

His eyes drink her in and he smiles before dipping his head to kiss the exposed skin just above her lace black bra. She shivers and he chuckles. He reaches his hand behind her back and flicks open the clasp, all in one fell swoop.

She's too drunk on the feeling of him to even question how unnatural that should be.

He sighs when he sees her fully exposed, like he can't believe she's in front of him. "**God**, Lydia, you are so fucking beautiful."

She doesn't even feel herself blush at his comment, but she knows it's there. He lifts her back up into his arms, his hands tangled in her wet hair, making it look darker. Then he carries her up the stairs.

He still doesn't make it to the bedroom, his lips are back on hers as he leans her against the wall again. Her hands run along his back and neck, mapping out every inch of him she can reach.

One of his hands moves from the wall where he's bracing them, to caress her breast. She shivers against him and he smirks against her lips. He moves his hand to her nipple, plucking and rubbing. She moans into his mouth, not able to hold it back. He smiles and breaks their kiss to pepper a trail kisses from her chin to her collar-bone.

When she finally wills her voice to work again, she whispers to him "Just get me into the bedroom already." He chuckles against her and obliges, hoisting her up and swinging her around in a circle before entering her bedroom, wet hair flying.

He carefully lays her down on the bed before peeling her jeans off of her. Making his way back up to her lips, he leaves open-mouthed kisses from her pelvis to her breasts to her chin. She sighs underneath him, feeling every kiss burn hotter on her skin. She can't get enough of him and yet it feels like she's already undone.

She kisses him while she runs her hands over his chest, the smooth skin hot under her palms. She grazes his nipple a few times, eliciting a groan from him.

She finds the strength to flip them over, and breaks their kiss to kiss her way across his chest. She peppers kisses all over, dipping closer to his pants. She can hear her heart beating in her ears while she pulls off his jeans. When she looks back up at him, she can see the slow burn of his gaze, hungry for more of her. Feeling bold, she decides to pull his boxers off him too.

Once he's free of them, she lowers herself to his cock. She's close enough so that she knows he can feel her breath, and without even touching it, she makes him shiver.

She takes him in her mouth and she hears him groan. She feels smug as she pumps him with her mouth, her hand assisting.

After about a minute she feels his hands come up on either side of her head gently and pull her away. She looks up at him, a look full of desire on his face.

"This is going to be over before it even starts if you keep doing that." He breathes out.

She laughs and makes her way back up to kiss him. He flips them over before she has the chance, though. He kisses his way down her body, stopping at her breasts to tease a nipple with his tongue. She moans.

He chuckles as he moves further, just above her panties. She feels like the might explode from anticipation, silently urging him on in her head.

He feels her through the lacy fabric, his fingers pushing into the wet folds to find her clit. When he does he hears the confirmation, she's unable to hold back the guttural sound that comes from the back of her throat.

He smirks and moves one of his hands to her hips, gently removing her underwear, rubbing her clit all the while. He kisses the inside of her right thigh as he plunges two fingers inside her, and she moans again.

_Thank god no one else is here,_ she thinks briefly.

He pumps his fingers in and out of her, finding the spot she cries out the most and working it. He sees her back bow a little out of his view as he brings his lips to her, beginning to lash at her center.

She feels herself explode and she can't hold in the noise that comes out of her throat, breathy and high-pitched. He waits for her to come down before he removes his fingers, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

He moves up to her and kisses her, leaving her even more breathless than before. She tastes herself on his lips, and she licks the taste from his teeth. She smiles as he pulls away.

"I have condoms in the side table." She tells him, pointing to her right.

He slowly gets up, and rummages in the drawer to find one. She watches him open it and roll it over himself, and she swears she sees his hand shake. She crawls over to him and places a kiss to his collar-bone before she asks: "Are you still?"

He quickly nods at her. "Yeah, Malia and I, we never..." He trails off.

She kisses him, sweeter and softer this time, then locks eyes with him. Her hand comes up to caress his cheek. "It's okay, just take your time." She tells him.

He nods again quickly and she lays herself back down on the bed. He crawls over her,and hovers at her entrance. He kisses her desperately as he slowly pushes in.

"Fuucckk." He groans as he pulls away from her lips.

_Tru dat,_ her mind agrees. She waits a bit before she urges him to move, her hips lifting up to meet him further.

He groans again but gets the idea. He begins to thrust in and out of her, and she meets his strides. Pushing and pulling and slamming together and _oh god_.

She wants to roll them over but she isn't sure how long he'll last, so she rolls her hips to create more tension, and she hears him gasp. She feels him hit somewhere inside her that she hasn't felt before, and he hears it in her voice when she says: "Stiles."

He holds his own as he hits the spot over and over, and she can feel herself reaching for climax, her muscles tightening around him.

He feels it too and follows her, unable to hold it back. He groans her name as he comes, his hands holding her hips.

He collapses on top of her, both of them breathing heavily. She feels him place a kiss to her chest before he pulls out of her.

She's still trying to catch her breath when he lays back down beside her, so close they're breathing the same air. They look at each other, like they've never seen the other.

She finds the courage to use her voice again after what seems like forever. "So this is what you want?" She asks him.

He smiles. "Yeah Lyds, I love you." He moves his mouth to hers, kissing her like he knows her inside and out, down to her very soul.

"I love you too." She whispers back. His arms wrap around her and pulls her closer, skin on skin as he sighs happily.

**A/N: I wanted to comment on Stiles' experience here. I wanted to make it real, he had obviously been experimenting with Malia, you can tell on the show that they care about each other and are being at least a bit physical; which is the reason I made Stiles good at oral, but still a virgin.**

**Please let me know what you think and leave a review! xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey guys, here is the next chapter. There's some more kinda smuttyness so watch out ;)**

**Happy reading!**

The next morning when she opens her eyes, she's greeted by Stiles looking back at her. He grins and kisses her chastely. "Good morning."

"Mmm, morning" she replies sleepily, a small smile playing on her lips. His left arm is draped over her, his fingers drawing intricate patterns on the bare skin of her back. She wonders how long he's been up, if he slept well, and how long he's been watching her. She sighs, feeling happier than she can remember feeling in a long time.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks her, searching her eyes.

"Oh nothing." She replies, then thinks better of it. "Everything." She smiles.

"I always used to imagine this," He says. "What it would feel like to be with you, like really with you."

She watches him closely, her right hand absent mindedly playing with the hairs at the back of his neck. "Is it everything you imagined?" She wonders out loud.

"It's better." He breathes. She widens her smile, and he moves closer to her to kiss her again.

_Yeah, it is better than I imagined too._ she thinks, his lips are warm and pliable on hers.

She sighs when he pulls away, resting his forehead against hers. After a few minutes, that seems like no time at all, she uses her voice again. "We should probably pick up from last night, my mom will be back today." She says reluctantly.

He squeezes her tighter and shakes his head. "In a minute." He protests.

"Stiles!" She says, trying to pull away from his embrace.

He laughs at her. "Fine." He says, releasing her. "Come on."

She gets up from the bed and walks over to her dresser, where she pulls out a bra, a purple tank, and a pair of grey sweats. When she turns around after getting dressed, Stiles is looking at her, already dressed in his jeans, with his eyebrows raised.

"What?" She asks.

"I just never thought you'd even own sweatpants." He chuckles.

She rolls her eyes at him. "Oh shut up." She retorts. She really only has the one pair for lazy days like this, but she doesn't tell him that.

She pulls her hair up in a loose pony tail and sighs. He comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her, his chin resting on her shoulder. He places a soft kiss to her neck, and she feels goosebumps travel from her neck all the way down her arms.

She turns around to face him, that look of desire back in his eyes. She puts her arms around his neck and kisses him again, lips fitting together perfectly. She deepens the kiss and sighs into him, enjoying every second.

He slowly breaks away from her before he speaks. "Lyds, do you wanna clean up or are you looking for round two?" He smirks.

"Would you just stop talking?" She replies, and kisses him again before releasing him and sauntering out of her room.

She can hear him laughing at her as she makes her way down the stairs.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Once Stiles has his clothes back and Lydia's are put away, they end up laying on the end of her bed again.

Even though last night was amazing, she still doesn't know exactly where they stand or what they are. She's suddenly aware that she's not okay with not being with him.

Who would have guessed that?

He's focused on playing with the ends of her ponytail, her strawberry blonde hair tangled in his fingers.

She sighs and decides she needs to have this conversation before she loses her nerve, and before the outside world invades theirs again.

"So, what is this Stiles? She whispers.

He brings his gaze to her face, with those brown eyes that bore into her, like he can see everything she doesn't want the rest of the world to see.

"I don't know," He says tentatively. "What do you want this to be?"

"I don't know either." She says.

He sits up and she follows suit, crossing her legs in front of her. He scoots closer to her and picks up her hand to lace their fingers together.

"Well, what do you know?" He asks.

_I know I don't wanna share and I don't wanna give this up, _she thinks.

"Me either." He says, and she realizes she wasn't just thinking the words.

She blushes and looks down. "I didn't realize I said that out loud." She laughs nervously.

His other hand lifts up her chin so he can see her again. "Just be honest, you don't have to hide from me you know." He says.

She gives him a weak smile. "I know, I just still don't really know how to do that. The only person who knew me like that was Allison."

At the mention of her best friend, her eyes start to gloss over. They both know that loss and how much it still burns. He nods slightly and she can see the pain of it on his face.

"I know you." He whispers after what feels like eons of silence. "More than I think you even know yourself."

"I'm beginning to think you're right." She replies softly.

"I didn't say anything because I'm not sure how you'll take it, but do you remember what you said last night after we..?" He asks her, unable to compete the question. He looks more vulnerable than she's seen him look before, like he might break if she denies it.

"I do." She reassures him. "And I meant it."

"Okay." He nods. "Good." He drops his hand from hers and brings it to the back of her head. Then he pulls her to him, and kisses her desperately.

_God I could get used to this._

She deepens the kiss, pouring her emotions into it. She wants him to know how she feels so he doesn't have to ask.

It's like their conversation continues without them saying any words. They seem to agree on one thing.

They both want this, whatever it might mean.

He turns her slightly, then lays her on back on the bed, never breaking their kiss. She brings her right hand into his hair, the other roams his back. She lets him into her mouth, and is filled with his familiar taste.

He kisses her like she'll never be his again, like this is all of her he'll ever get. Her emotions overwhelm her, kissing him back with the same passion.

His hands shed her of the tank she's wearing, which ends up on the floor at the foot of her bed.

His touch is different than the night before; it's more intense and caring and soft vs. the rough and desperate. He kisses his way from her lips to her neck, collarbone, chest and tummy. They're searching this time, like he wants to map out and memorize every inch of her with his lips.

She pulls his shirt over his head and starts to do some exploration of her own. She catalogues the feel of his muscles, the dips and rises of his body, they way they feel and they way he reacts when she touches him. He's fleshed out much more than when he took her to the dance; she remembers the feel of him dancing around the gym - but he's not chiseled like some guys who work at it.

She looks back up at him, and he locks eyes with her. It's different than the first time, which was lust filled and unknown. This is completely different and at the same time, exactly like before.

He brings her out of her sweats and she undoes his jeans, leaving nothing between them but her bra. He strips her of that too, before he rolls over to grab protection from the side table, much more confident than yesterday.

He rolls back on top of her and kisses her again deeply, his right hand partially in her hair and his thumb stroking her cheek. She feels so loved she could die.

When he enters her this time, it's like two pieces of the puzzle are finally fitting together. She sighs his name and she feels him smile in the crook of her neck.

They move together in sync, pouring feelings into every kiss and movement. He moves his lips from hers to her collar bone, finding that sweet spot again. He spends time on it, learning exactly what makes her gasp.

She decides it's time to roll him over, and he gasps in return when she does.

"God Lyds."

She smiles down at him, and they lock eyes. She starts to find her own rhythm, and he matches her thrusts. His hands hold her hips, thumbs grazing over her belly.

She feels herself getting close and he must sense it too, because he flips them back over. He rolls his hips to hit the spot he discovered the night before, and she falls apart underneath him as he releases his own orgasm inside her.

"I love you." He whispers as he comes down, and she finds herself whispering back "I love you too."

She can feel his breath on the skin of her chest as he rests there, and she doesn't want him to move. She feels like she should savour the moment somehow.

He goes to pull out of her but she resists, and uses her hands to bring his face to hers. She places a kiss to his lips before she allows him to move again.

He cleans himself and comes back to rest beside her, skin on skin and his arm draped over her. She feels her heart still beating fast, and she swears she can feels his too. He nestles his head in her neck, pressing light kisses to the hollow of her throat.

_This is what love feels like_. She thinks, knowing that this definitely wasn't just sex. He just made love to her, and her to him. And nothing will be the same.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So I may have thought I was done with this story, because I had some serious writers block and poured my time into my other story (take all that I have). But I had some lovely reviews asking for more, and found some inspiration. **

**I will be writing one more chapter after this, so stay tuned for that. Thank you so much for your reviews, they keep me going! **

**As always please review and happy reading!xoxo**

_I could get used to this. _Lydia thinks sleepily. All she can feel is warmth and the feel of Stiles' skin on hers. She can feel his breath on her neck, hot and even. His arm is draped over her stomach lazily, and it feels perfect.

She wonders what it would be like getting to sleep beside him on a regular basis. It's like they fit together perfectly and she just feels better when she's next to him.

Lydia is roused from her sleepy thoughts when she hears the front door open.

She bolts upright, realizing that they must had fallen asleep after their not-so-talkative conversation about what they were. Stiles is still curled up next to where she had been laying, his mouth hanging open slightly. He looks so peaceful, even with her rustling the sheets. She glances over at the alarm clock on the bedside table - 9:43.

_Shit. _

"Lydia, honey are you home?" Her mother's voice rings out from downstairs, and the panic in Lydia's chest dials up a few notches.

_My mother cannot find Stiles asleep in my bed.. _She thinks.

Lydia finds her sweatpants and shirt she'd been wearing earlier and pulls them back on quickly. She hurriedly shakes Stiles to wake him up. "Stiles!" She half whispers. He flips over, obviously startled. His arms and legs flail out as he wakes up. "Wha-" he tries to say, eyes wide, but Lydia silences him with her index finger, placing it over his lips. He smiles and softly kisses her finger before she pulls it away, and she feels herself melt a little.

She shakes it off and makes her way over to her bedroom door when her mom calls out again. "Lydia?'" Lydia quickly opens the door and calls out. "Yeah mom, I'll be right down!"

She silently closes the door and turns back to Stiles, who had apparently frozen in place with the knowledge that her mom was home, eyes bulging. He's sprawled out on the bed, still stark naked. Part of her wants to jump him again, kiss him senseless and never come back from the piece of heaven that they create together. But the more sensible part of her shoves it back down. "I'll be right back." She whispers to him. She motions for him to get dressed, and makes her way downstairs.

She finds her mom in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of red wine. "Hi" Lydia says nervously.

Her mom's face lights up when she turns around and sees Lydia, pulling her into a quick hug. "How was the convention mom?" Lydia asks, trying to make conversation.

"Oh it was fine, nothing too new." Her mom says, picking up her wine glass and moving from the kitchen into the adjoining living room. "How was your weekend? Lots of studying I hope?" She asks as she settles down on the couch, pulling out her phone.

"As always, yes mom." She doesn't even feel the least bit guilty about lying, at least not at the moment. "Well I was about to hop in the shower, so I'll see you in the morning?" Lydia says, trying to find the least suspicious way to get back upstairs.

"Oh sure honey, I'll be up later." Her mom says, waving her off. She's clearly engrossed in her emails, her fingers flicking across the screen of her phone wildly.

Lydia puffs out a small sigh of relief and turns to make her way back up to her room. She has to force herself not to bound up the stairs, the pull in her chest from the boy who made her finally feel something real and the urgency to get him out of the house so her mother doesn't see proves to be making it difficult.

She finally opens her bedroom door, expecting to see him waiting patiently, but there's no such boy in sight. "Stiles?" She hisses quietly, whipping her head around the room, wondering where he'd gone.

She hears a creek come from her left and she turns to see a flushed and tentative Stiles opening up the door of her closet and creeping out.

She almost wants to wrap her arms around him, finding his uncertainty adorable. But the other voice in her head reminds her of the situation. She bites back a laugh as he looks up at her sheepishly. "Yeah - I totally panicked and this seemed like the best idea. Not my best. " He half whispers, motioning back towards the inside of the closet.

She shakes her head and smiles at him before kissing him sweetly, really not wanting him to leave, but knowing there's not really another option. He doesn't seem to care though, as she feels him deepen the kiss, placing his hands on either side of her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.

She sighs into him and wraps her arms around his back, not wanting whatever this is to end.

She pulls away reluctantly, sighing slightly. "You're gonna have to go out the window." She says.

"Not a problem. I have plenty of experiences with windows." He grins. She feels the ugly green monster in her chest claw it's way out, and she feels her face pale. _I_ _wonder how many times he's sneaked out of **her** window._

As if he reads her mind, he cringes at his words and shakes his head. "No, Lyds - dammit sorry - Scott's window. They don't have a spare key, how else am I supposed to get in?" He says incredulously, as if it was natural.

She feels her face relax, "It's okay." She says softly, giving him a weak smile before pressing her lips to his again. "Okay, you really have to go now, or my mom will wonder what's taking me so long to get in the shower."

His eyebrows perk up at the mention of shower. "Or, maybe I should just stay and join you." He says suggestively, raising his eyebrows at her.

_Oh I wish,_ she thinks, but knows she can't give in. "Maybe some other time." She says, winking at him and a grin spreading across her lips.

He beams back at her before he puffs "Fine." She rolls her eyes and watches him open up the window and somehow stretch his long legs gracefully through it. She follows him and watches him plop down into her back yard.

He looks back up and smiles. For a spaz, he is surprisingly good on his feet. "I'll see you tomorrow Lyds." He says, winking at her.

"Tomorrow." She agrees, waving at him. "I love you." She says, her voice barely a whisper as he makes his way to the back fence, clambers over it and disappears.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lydia can't help but feel nervous as she pulls into the school parking lot the next morning, her hands shaking slightly. She doesn't know what to expect, if he's going to want to show them off, kept it quiet, or ignore her completely.

She honestly doesn't know which option is worse at this point.

She slides out of the car and smooths out her dress before looking up. She feels herself smile wide as she sees Stiles making his way over to her.

"Good morning." He beams as he reaches her, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She can't help but feel a bit giddy.

"Hi." She says sheepishly, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He questions, obviously taking notice. He leans up against her driver door and awaits an answer.

"Well, we never did define this." Lydia says after a few moments.

"Who says we have to define anything to anyone else?" He says, turning to face her and their eyes lock. She feels the heat creep back up in her face before tearing her eyes away.

"Look, if you don't want to flaunt this all over the school it's fine.." Stiles tries to say before she cuts him off.

"No, it's not that." She assures. "I just, I don't know, I haven't done this before."

He raises his eyebrows at her. "Yes you have."

She thinks about Jackson and Aiden, and sure she may have held their hand and gotten intimate with them, but neither one of them had ever made her feel like this. Not even close.

"No, I haven't. Not like this." She says, her voice barely a whisper.

When she finds the courage to look back up at Stiles, he's obviously trying to contain a beaming smile. He looks over at her and leans in to capture her lips.

She smiles into him and he brings his right hand up to her cheek and cradles it. He pulls away and searches her eyes for some sort of answer.

She finds the courage to take his hand and lace their fingers together, answering his silent question.

Apparently that was good enough, because she hears him chuckle as they make their way into the school to face the world together.


	9. Chapter 9

"I'll leave you two alone."

Lydia looks up at Stiles and gives him a weak smile. He kisses her hair before he slowly turns and walks away from her as she crouches down on the grass.

The air is warm and the sun is bright. There's a slight breeze blowing through the trees, and Lydia can hear the rustling of the leaves. It's a beautiful Saturday - and any normal person would be spending time with family or friends. Instead, on their weekend home in Beacon Hills, Lydia and Stiles are in a graveyard.

Lydia guesses this still counts as spending time with friends and family, though.

She settles onto the grass, laying down the flowers she brought with her. They're tiger lilies. She makes a point to bring a different flower every time she visits. The gray marble stone is large and the light reflects off of it. Lydia has to shield her eyes from the glare - even though it's been 7 years since it was laid here, the headstone is still as shiny as the day of her best friend's funeral.

"Hi Ally." Lydia whispers. It always feels a bit strange to talk out loud to her, but the more she does it, the more it feels like Allison is right here with her.

"Sorry it's been a while - we've wanted to visit for a while but everything's so busy, you know. I hope you aren't mad."

Lydia peers up from the top of the headstone at Stiles - he's about 50 yards away, crouching at an older headstone. She knows the only other person he's lost is his mom - and everytime they visit Allison, he spends time with Claudia too. It makes Lydia happy and yet sad at the same time. It's not fair that he lost her so young, or that they've both lost Allison too.

But life isn't fair, and they try to make the best of it anyway.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something. Do you remember when you talked to me about you and Scott; and how he made you feel?" Lydia looks back down at Allison's name, wiping freshly cut grass off the bottom of the headstone. "How you couldn't breathe until you were with him, and how you would count the seconds until you could be with him again?"

Lydia looks back up at the boy in the graveyard and she can't help but smile. "Well I know how you feel now. And I have a feeling you already know that, but I just wanted to tell you."

"It's Stiles. I know I've already told you all about this, but it's different now. We live together and we're building a life together." Lydia glances down at the diamond ring glittering on her left hand she can remember how it felt when he asked her.

He'd surprised her at their apartment after work - she came home to a candle lit dinner that was homecooked. Stiles always cooked, but she could tell he'd but extra time and effort into it, but she hadn't said anything.

She remembers after desert and a glass of her favorite wine, he'd knelt down on one knee in front of her. He rambled about the first time he saw her and everything they'd been through, and how much he loved her. And then he asked her the best question she'd ever heard.

Lydia hadn't been able to get the word yes out of her mouth fast enough.

"I'm going to marry him." She says, a wide grin spreading across her face. "The only way things could be more perfect right now is if you were here. I miss you best friend."

She feels a hand softly grasp her shoulder and she knows it's Stiles - letting her know she's not alone anymore. "Well, I'm going to marry her unless its not okay with you, Allison." He says, and Lydia can practically see the smirk on his lips.

Lydia turns her head as Stiles crouches down beside her and she kisses him softly. "I have a feeling she's perfectly okay with it."

They stay for about an hour, just talking about nothing and everything all at the same time, trying to fill Allison in on their lives. Even though she probably already knows.

Stiles' arm is wrapped around Lydia as they walk away from the headstone, back to their car parked on the street. When he speaks, his voice is tentative, yet still there is a hint of excitement. "So now that Allison knows, can we tell everyone else now?"

Lydia laughs slightly at him - the nervous boy who used to follow her around is still in there somewhere, like he can hardly believe she's returned any of his sentiments towards her. He needn't worry. "Of course." She says, as they stop in front of the car.

"Finally." He beams at her before placing a kiss to her lips. "Scott's first on the list."

She just shakes her head at him as she slides into the passenger seat. "Of course he is."

**A/N: I'm sorry that this is so short, and that it took me so long to update this. I had a vision that I wanted to have Lydia tell Allison about everything she feels about Stiles, but I couldn't get it down on paper for a long time. I hope I did it justice.**

**check me out on tumblr: savingsciles**  
**xoxo**


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